McDonald’s vs Ivy (round 2)

Posted in Uncategorized by beebe4 on March 1, 2004

After a semi-successful first round, ending in Sherry’s scarlet fever, the fearless McDonald’s got tricked into a decisive final battle with the neglected (read: overgrown) Ivy in the front yard, that had already claimed one crape myrtle and was threatening the dog wood and azalea bushes.

Our heroine started by simple pulling off the ivy from the dog wood tree, but her addiction got the best of her and before she knew it, she was returning to the site of the previous battle… the flower beds. Her trusty sidekick was soon called into duty (after successfully hanging two window flower boxes). Team McDonald was now at full power against the mighty foe, and easily took out the weaker flower bed… the Right One. The native Azaleans were very grateful to their rescuers and promised to bloom mightily next season.

With one enemy down, the McDonald’s turned their diminishing strengths toward the stronger of the two flower beds, the mighty Left One, where the carcass of the crape myrtle stood as an icon of the Ivy’s power for all to see.

At this point, the team was spilt when our brave hero suddenly remembered that he needed to return inside to tend to the stairs and apply the wood fill in order to allow it time to cure before the final sanding in preparation for the nightly painting. So our heroine was left alone to brave the terror of the Left One!

Fear not, she had a tricky secret up her sleeve. By being stricken with the scarlet fever in her last battle, she had grown immune to the dreadful scarlet fever attack of the Left One, and it’s power sucking scarlet fever had no effect on her this time. With it’s main weapon useless against Sherry, she was able to summon all her strength and eradicate most of the sprawl all by her lonesome.

Just when she didn’t think that she could hold it off my longer, mighty Ben came back to wipe out the main vine, which had wrapped around the light post and had in fact crushed the metal of the lamp post. Mighty Ben, sensing victory, took an axe to the root clusters that would not release it’s hold on the dirt surrounding the lifeless body of Mr. Myrtle, and the battle was won… but not over.

It turns out that the life of a super hero is not always so glamorous… And the end of the day, someone still has to pick up the mess that is made saving the world from overgrown ivy. But this in itself is no easy task, since ivy doesn’t give up, even when unrated. It will stay stiff and cling to anything present to prevent it’s lifeless body from being stuck into a plastic bag for disposal. But with persistence, blood, and sweat the ivy was vanquished forever, and now waits on the side of the road for it’s transportation to it’s final resting place… the dump.


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